Looking back will only give you a sore neck. I’ve heard plenty of variations on that phrase. They all mean the same thing. Regret for the past can hamper what you see looking forward. But a little regret can also give you a realistic view of who you have been, who you are and what you may become. So when I meet Andrew I fire off two questions for him.
Those questions paraphrased are: What are three positive things about yourself ? Also, What do you regret about yourself? He lists caring, sporty and crazy for his positive list. His negative list includes pride,temper, and anger. With that out of the way he then takes me on a journey through his life to date.
Andrew has come a long way in every sense of the word. Born in Sri Lanka his heritage was flavoured by Sri Lankan, French and Irish influences. He had a multicultural background long before the word came into popular use.
Unfortunately in 1969 the Sri Lankan Government decided to turn away from Multiculturalism. They banned students from using english in schools and made everyone use only Sinhalese. For those of European background who then felt compelled to move overseas the Government seized their assets. That’s why when Andrew arrived in Australia with his sister and mother they only had 300 dollars
For his mother the struggle was tough as they had come from a wealthy background and went from having maids to having very little. It was in every sense a challenging test of faith. Andrew’s family background had included a long line of missionaries. His pride and maybe a sense of entitlement in his heritage would meet the reality of the bad things that can happen to anyone. His father died when he was 8 years old. He lost his grandmother to suicide. By the time he was 13 years old his mother could not support them in Australia so he left home and lived on the street for two years. This was chilly Melbourne where Andrew’s priorities became finding food and somewhere safe to sleep. Survival is a competitive game which Andrew played to become what he calls the best street kid, one who would be resourceful enough to find food and the best shelter available.
Befriending an undertaker led Andrew had to an unusual opportunity. The man let him borrow clean clothes so that he could attend funerals to graze with anonymity on the food at wakes. A similarly odd opportunity occurred when in AFL mad
Melbourne Andrew found a discarded Rugby Union ball in bin.
A gentleman wearing a grey pin striped suit with a white shirt and red tie noticed his skills with a ball and offered to let Andrew play at a local club. Free access to a hot shower was also included. Ultimately this would lead to Andrew representing Victoria. It would also lead to a scholar ship at a school in Melbourne.
The club also help him get a finance related job a field that he would excel in.
As Andrew tells me about his achievements in the finance sector I recognise a pattern emerging. I hear of a man who’s crazy choices sometimes look like intuitive genius though equally they may be just him recognising how to benefit from lucky breaks. Of course lucky breaks can look like divine intervention. There are plenty of examples when he has met someone at the right time and place so they have become part of his testimony. A testimony is an eye witness account of events and is valuable but of course it is only told from one perspective. Ideally as a person retells their story they may learn something new each time. Maybe.
There is always something that we will never know. Andrew’s life was changed after he found that football. He speculates on who it was that discarded that ball. A small decision for one person could have a dramatic effect on someone else. We may never know the full impact of our actions
Andrew has gone into many things thinking he could make a difference then he frequently discovered that his actions have changed him instead. I am sure that he did not enter into his first marriage to learn the lessons that he did. He has now been happily remarried for many years.
Music has been and still is important to Andrew. He has been heavily involved with worship teams in churches. His church life was challenged when he met Ron Hutchinson from the Fringe church at Redcliffe. He learned that there had been 16 suicides in Redcliffe that month. This news clashed with some deeply inappropriate behaviour that he witnessed in other churches. They were not meeting the need that was in the community. No one person can solve everything so he knew he could not do that. But he could be in the best place to help out provided he learned the lessons of 67 years of successes and failures.
He currently works in a caring profession and is part of a band called Oleander Grove. He has a wealth of stories to tell. I have barely scratched the surface here. Looking back on life may give you a sore neck but its also a great way to see how far you have come.